Seeing Beyond Me

There's this marvelous, wild, crazy, joyful life in front of us. There's this hope that never ends, there's this love that never fails. I know this, I know this to be true.

So why then do I choose apathy over glory?
Laziness over steadfastness?
And boredom over excitement?
Why do I brush aside eternal joy for temporary fulfillment?

I wish I could see eternity, I wish I could fathom God's greatness. I wish I knew His everlasting love for me when I feel. so. unloved. I'm going to start looking beyond myself again. Because in the end, it's not about how I feel about being loved, it's knowing that I AM LOVED. And it's about sharing that unfailing love with the world.

Things are changing, It's time to act on my dream and run the race set before me diligently and work really freakin' hard. God deserves my very best and I have dedicated my life to Him. I'm dedicating it again today and I will EVERYDAY until it sticks.

I'm really thankful that my standing with God has nothing to do with my performance, or my inner thoughts, or my intentions. It has to do all with God's sacrifice, love and promises.

So who's with me?!

Weekend in Portland, OR with Resa

I had a beautiful weekend getaway in the Land of Port. I was invited by a lovely friend Resa to join her and our new friend Stephen on a drive out to the Eternal City (Thanks to Jack Ill never call it anything besides that). After several weeks of heavy, bad news and no end of difficulty in sight I was really able to regain a sense of hope, regain a sense of responsibility and more than anything, thankfulness for my little-big town that I have the privilege to live in, Spokane. I was able to see my life from the outside and get a new sense of belonging.

We spent Saturday sleeping in! (Whoo hoo!) After a lazy, contemplative morning we (I, Resa, her godmother Tammy and godsister Julianna) headed out to Rolaff farms. This is the home of the Roloffs from Little People Big World. We were able to take a wagon ride around the beautiful property and pick out pumpkins. 

This picyure with my coffee is the only picture I got of Jack, Resa's godbrother (and bff), all weekend. 

He's a gem. Clever, intellectual, and loves Jesus a whole dang lot , reminds me of my own brother :)

Instagrams of the weekend!

Tea and cookies after church Sunday

The weekend ended with an epic roadtrip back to Spokane, hipster music blasting, contrasted with some classic Les Mis (of course), crazy winds and killer tumbleweeds. 

 I would say the weekend was a success! I'm so happy to have a close friend like Resa here at Moody. God is Good! He is sufficient in our times of need and usually adds a surprise like the amazing family I was able to meet and know this weekend.

Peace in the Midst of Uncertainty

Does anyone else know what it's like to trust God completely, but still be 'out of your mind' crazy nervous of uncertainties? Because, I am in a spot right now in my life where I have had to put one foot in front of the other farther and farther out of my comfort zone into the unknown; and I am completely okay with it. 

I am a student, a student of not ONLY the word of God but of GOD HIMSELF, and let me tell you, He is teaching me a ton. He has made a pathway for me to follow with only the very step in front of me lit for me to see. He said GO, and I went. He said TRUST ME and I did (am), He said I will provide everything you need exactly when you need it, so I said OK LET'S DO THIS THING. 

A week from today I have to pay for the remaining balance of my tuition for school, which is only 20% of the ACTUAL cost of school, as God has paid the rest in financial aid and scholarships. (It's like He's trying to tell me He's provided even now, I know it. THANKS GOD. I really need to be more thankful. 80% of school this semester is already paid for Hallelujah!) I was going to write out how nervous I was and how I have NO idea where that remaining balance is coming from, but it's obviously coming from God, at the right time, exactly when I need it. He already said so, so why am I worried? 

Being in a situation where I have no one to depend on for financial help except for God, (who I may mention is the creator of the world, all things in it, has space and time in his hands, who calls me His child AND is 'able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us' Eph. 3:20) I have been nervous, fearful and downright terrified of what the outcome will be since there is NO BACKUP PLAN. But even now He's opening the floodgates of peace. If this is what it's like to really trust God, I'm ready to continue on this ride, because it doesn't make sense. The peace in spite of the uncertainty is crazy amazing. I have been forced to get on my knees daily, to pick up my Bible for comfort and read His promises, I've been seeking God more than I have in ages and I have found Him. And the truth is, He is RIGHT HERE, Ha has never left, and He never will. 

I'm not sure what the point of this post was when I first began writing it, (an update maybe?) but in the midst God has given me His peace and that same peace is available to you. I know it's a constant battle between your flesh and your spirit; so when you are ready to give up, throw in the towel and have yourself a pity party remember that God is near. Remember the promises and the power of God, even in His name, remember that you are never alone, never ever ever, and hold tight because He is stronger.